Amber Dusick

what it is like to change diapers (illustrated with crappy pictures™!)

INTRO:  I've been wanting to share a few "real life parenting" moments but I don't have any photos.  Everybody hates text only posts.  So I drew some really crappy pictures to illustrate.  This has turned into an ongoing series, which now lives here at Crappy Pictures.  Here goes...

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I have a four year old and a one year old.  The one year old is still in diapers. Changing the diaper of a one year old is much more difficult with a four year old in the room.  

And this is why.   

No matter what, the moment I'm changing a diaper is the exact moment that my four year old suddenly, desperately needs to tell me something.  

He presents his news as being so unbelievable that it MUST be told to me right at this exact minute and of course I have to be facing him, looking him in the eyes while he tells me this unbelievable thing.  

Whether or not poop is involved and the amount of the poop positively correlates with the urgency of his need for my attention.

If you suck at statistics this means MORE poop = MORE need mama.  

At least I think.  I suck at statistics.

Usually, I am very prepared for this situation.    

One time recently though, I made a mistake.  I was not prepared for poop.  It was one of those phantom poops when you have no idea it is in there and you aren't armed and ready with wipes and distractions.

I turned my head away from the baby for just one second as I'm opening the diaper, to tell my four year old that it will be just a minute, thinking it was just pee we were dealing with.   

The changing of a diaper transforms the baby into a spastic octopus.  Dipping both heels and hands in the poop and flinging it all around the room like a lawn sprinkler.  

Which is exactly what happened.  

Moments later, in an attempt to deal with the situation, I have poop on my hands and arms and a heaping mound of soiled paper towels at my feet.

I sweetly explain to four year old that it will be a bit longer, that there is an extreme poop situation I'm dealing with here.  I know I'm walking on eggshells.

Unfortunately, this extended time spent cleaning up has ignited an angry monster in my four year old.  He MUST tell me his unbelievable thing.  NOW! 

He is getting more and more impatient, louder and louder and more and more angry. 

MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! 

The noise of him screaming MAMA! is deafening.  

MAMA!  I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!

Okay, what is it, honey?  Just tell me!

NO, YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT ME!!!

He is stomping his feet now and his face is turning red and tears are streaming down his cheeks.  It sounds like someone is physically torturing him.  MAMA! MAMA!  MAMA! MAMA!  MAMA! MAMA!     
   

MAMA! MAMA! 

My nerves are like daggers having had to block out being screamed at while trying to contain the poop explosion.

MAMA! MAMA!  MAMA!  MAMA!  MAMA!  MAMA! 

But finally, the poop is mostly wiped up and the baby is secured in a clean diaper.  I no longer need to focus 100% of my attention on the poop containment.   

Now I can finally give my four year old the attention he so desperately requires. I am free to listen to his emergency.  

But my teeth are still clenched and that tense feeling of stress has not left.  I'm annoyed.  Very.   

Facing him, I see the anger drain from his face.  He wipes his tears.  Deep breath for both of us.  

I'm thinking this better be good.  After all that, this better be serious. 

He pauses and his eyes widen.  Like he is about to tell me something so unbelievable that I won't be able to handle it.  This is it.  This is his moment!    

And he was right.  It was unbelievable.  

And this is what it is like to change diapers with a four year old in the room.  

 

PS - I've closed comments for this post, as this post now lives here on www.crappypictures.com

gardening & parenting different ages

The other day, my four year old harvested a radish, washed it off in the hose and then took it inside and trimmed it with his scissors.  And then put it in the fridge in a tiny bowl of water.  All by himself.  I didn't even know he had done it until I saw a lone little radish floating in a bowl in the fridge.

I'm strangely comforted by the knowledge that he is self-sufficient in this way.  A wee radish farmer who could survive on radishes if his parents were to dissappear.  (Hmmmm, this is starting to sound like a dark fairytale.)  Anyway, I'm so proud of him!

My 18 month old follows suit of course and was so proud that he too could harvest radishes.  Unfortunately, he now wants to pick the entire garden.  I can see the tomato plants tremble when he walks by.  We walk the delicate balance between trying to protect the garden and trying to protect his enthusiasm for gardening.  It is like that with a lot of things at this age.  

If we embrace the mess and embrace the chaos then we are embracing him.  That is just how it is with an 18 month old in your house.  I think the "terrible twos" exist when people don't want messy floors, don't give themselves enough time to get out the door and generally try to overly control a being whose job it is to explore their universe.  

I'll get eyerolls for saying this but I don't really think toddlers are all that difficult.  Or maybe this is because I have a smart and sassy four year old who argues by saying things like, "No, Mama, you are wrong!  You think that I should wash my hands but actually, I don't have to because they are my hands and I get to decide whether or not to wash them.  So I'm not gonna!"  This is followed by a discussion about germs which then culminates with very high decibels of whining and collapsing boneless on the bathroom floor...him, not me.  By comparison, a smiling and jolly tornado of destruction (aka an 18 month old) is so much easier.  All you have to to is make sure they are safe and then step out of their way.  

The main thing is that I'm an experienced mother to an 18 month old.  I've done this before.  This is my first time being the mother to a four and a half year old.  I wish I was better at it.  I wish I had the wisdom of having done it before and the calm and confidence that comes with experience.  I'm learning when to just back off and let him decide to wash his hands (or not) or to take a bath (or not) because these types of battles are not worth the scars they leave on our relationship.  

So maybe if with an 18 month old the goal is to make sure they are safe in their random chaos of exploration, then maybe with a 4.5 year old the goal is to make sure they are safe on the path they are leading themselves on.  I guess the goal is really the same.  Keep them safe.  Let them lead.  I just figured out the secret to this whole parenting thing.  Please remind me about it next week when I've forgotten it.  Promise?  

 

sewing from a pattern from the year I was born

I love vintage sewing patterns because I always have this image in my mind of the perfect vintage something and I can't actually find the item.  I'm always dreaming up 70s era tunic tops but most of the ones that exist are polyester, which feels icky and hot in summer.

I found this 1977 McCall's 5565 a few weeks ago and picked it because it is made for stretch fabrics.  And I could make my dream shirt a reality, and with cotton jersey.  

By the way, if you are planning to shop vintage patterns, take note of the measurements.  Sizing was different 30 years ago, a vintage size 12 is more like a modern size 6.  Etsy is a great source for vintage patterns, I can (and do) spend hours sifting through them, but I've also had luck at thrift stores.

I skipped the belt for now.  I also didn't even bother to finish the bottom or the sleeve edges, I'm just going to leave them raw.  The fabric trim is vintage and I've been holding on to it for years.  (PS - those little dark dots aren't stains on the shirt, they are water drops from my wet hair.)

My sewing as usual isn't perfect, but I'm pretty happy with this particular shirt.  I'm slowly learning to sew stretchy knit fabrics and get comfortable with it.  Not sure why I was afraid of it for so long!  Considering that cotton jersey is all I want to wear most of the year when it is hot I think I'll be doing more of it.  

Now I just need to find more patterns... 

 

catching up! we've been...

I've been quiet here for a bit, this is an attempt to catch up a bit.  We've been...

Watering.  Which is much more fun with eager helpers.

 

Harvesting.  Aren't radishes, well rad?  So quick to grow and foolproof.  

 

Finding.  While watering we found some discarded shells under a creeping jasmine vine...

Discovering.  Which lead us to this nest.  The birds are all grown up and gone already, but I see several strands of kitchen twine that we provided for them!

 

Drying.  I just love seeing nothing but swim trunks and beach towels on the line.

 

Beaching.  Nothing much to say about this one, except I'm totally smitten with red birch beer.  Similar to root beer or sarsaparilla.

 

Baking.  In the house we've been keeping busy with mass amounts of cookie baking.  My littlest guy has suddenly taken an interest in cooking and they both climb up into the learning tower.  Sometimes they have a little fun.  Sometimes they have a LOT of fun.  This was cocoa powder.  They explained they were chimney sweeps in a chocolate factory.  

I hope you are keeping busy with fun stuff too!